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Hey dear friends,
When someone mentions the idea of a support or community group, a lot of different emotions and reactions come to the surface. In general, we tend to respond in one of three ways. Some of us immediately realize our need for it, get excited about the possibilities, and jump in with both feet. Some of us are open to it, knowing support groups can offer value – but for some reason we remain hesitant to get involved, or we get minimally involved and keep our interactions at a surface level. Others develop major anxiety over the thought of discussing intimate details of our lives with other people – or we flat out think support groups are hokey or full of drama or whatever – so we avoid them at all costs.
I’m not sure how you feel about community support groups or where your thoughts fall on the spectrum, but I’d like to take the time today to discuss why a community is so important when you have leftover frozen embryos. Hopefully, you’ll be encouraged to become involved by the end of this article. Please note, this will be easy for some of you. But, for others, support groups are way outside your comfort zone and you’re not really sure you want to hash out the nitty-gritty details of your lives with strangers. We certainly understand. This may be especially challenging given the sensitive nature of our topic.
(Are you struggling with what to do with your leftover embryos? We would love to help. Check out our free 10-Step Guide at the bottom of this post.)
However, my friends, allow this truth to rest in your heart – we were designed by God to live in community. The journey of life, and the journey of family, was never meant to be forged alone. We were designed to shoulder each other’s difficulties and share in one another’s hardships. We were meant to spur each other on towards our dreams, speaking love and truth into the lives of others. Being part of a community of people who gather around a common hardship truly has the potential to change your life.
Friends, your leftover frozen embryos, and what you decide to do with them, is A REALLY BIG DEAL. In the grand scheme of the world, the number of people in your position, in our position, experiencing the same circumstances, is SMALL. Without a support group, we remain scattered all over the place with little opportunity to connect, encourage, and sustain one another. We’re left to digest and process the implications of our thoughts, feelings, and decisions without assistance and guidance – and there’s nothing worse than going through life feeling like you’re all alone. My friends, we want more for you.
So, if you’re on the fence or hesitant to get involved, or if you’re just wondering about all the benefits a group like this can offer, please read on to discover 10 reasons why you need community when you have leftover frozen embryos. (Links to get involved in our community are at the end of the post).
1) You will be understood.
First and foremost, there will be no other group of people who will be able to understand you better than other parents in the same situation. No matter how hard you try, you won’t be able to completely convey to others what it feels like to be faced with the difficult choice of what to do with your leftover frozen embryos. Somehow you still end up feeling strangely empty and alone even when you share your hardships with close family and friends. Although there’s absolutely nothing wrong this, and it’s healthy and good to open up to others, they’ll just never be able to “get it” – and that can leave you feeling extremely isolated.
This is one of the main reasons why you need community. You need to know you aren’t alone. There’s an unspoken bond that’s instantly formed when you walk along this road with other parents who also have leftover frozen embryos like you. There’s nothing to explain because it’s already intimately known. You’re immediately accepted and completely understood.
2) You can speak freely.
Sometimes it’s hard to talk about our leftover frozen embryos and the complicated feelings we have about them. It’s no secret that this is a controversial and difficult subject to approach. Individual perspectives can vary widely on this topic, often making it difficult to have a completely open conversation with people who aren’t in the same situation.
For example, someone who is trying desperately to have their first child would never understand why some of us struggle with anger because of the position we’re in. In fact, our anger could even be offensive and hurtful to them. So, there’s a natural reluctance to share out of respect for others. And many times we’re hesitant because of the possibility of unwanted advice and opinions. When you’re in a community of people who understand your position and all the confusing, complicated emotions that go along with it, you have the opportunity and ability to speak freely, remain honest, and be vulnerable.
3) You will receive support.
Not only will be you be understood, but as you walk through the process, you’ll receive incredible support from other individuals who are currently facing the same hardships or have faced them in the past. Support can be defined in a myriad of ways such as giving encouragement or approval, helping in an emotional or practical way, providing for a need, or holding something firmly and bearing its weight to stop it from falling 1.
No matter what you’re feeling, which choice you decide to go with, or how hard you’re struggling, a community of people who can understand your pain will have the capacity to function as a unique support system for you, holding you up spiritually and emotionally and enabling you to put one foot in front of the other. They will share the weight of your burdens and give your heavy heart a place to rest in a way that few others can.
4) You will receive encouragement.
Another reason why you need community when you have leftover frozen embryos is so you can receive encouragement. This goes hand-in-hand with support but it actually serves a slightly different purpose. By definition, encouragement includes the giving of support, but it also incorporates the giving of confidence, hope, and/or advice to help do something, continue to do something, or make something more likely 2.
Although anyone can provide encouragement to you, if we’re being honest, sometimes the kind of encouragement you so desperately need can only come from others who are in a position to understand you. When someone else is able to walk in your shoes and truly feel the weight of your circumstances, they also have the unique ability to instill hope, confidence, and peace straight into your heart. They possess the qualities, knowledge, and experience that can help you keep going when you feel like you want to quit.
5) You will be empowered.
One of the best benefits of being in community is you will become empowered as you mutually share thoughts, feelings, emotions, and stories related to your families and frozen embryos. To empower someone is to make them stronger and more confident, through support and encouragement, giving them the ability or freedom to do something 3.
Your entire approach and perspective on your embryos has the capacity to change as you listen to the testimonies of others who have gone before you. A single encounter with a like-minded individual can fill you with bravery and courage. A kindred spirit can speak truth into your heart. In a community that understands you, you can be empowered in mighty ways – helping you to realize that you have the ability, strength, stamina, and grit to approach this area of your life with confidence and not let fear of the unknown overwhelm and paralyze you.
(We all want to be confident in our decision. Our 10-Step Guide helps you process your thoughts and feelings around your embryos and helps to encourage, empower, and inspire you to approach this area of your life with confidence. The guide is available at the bottom of this post).
6) You will be equipped for the road ahead.
Yet another reason why you need community when you have leftover frozen embryos is because others who have gone before you can equip you for the road ahead. To equip someone is to supply them with the objects that are needed for a particular purpose and/or to prepare someone mentally with whatever is needed to deal with a particular situation or task 4.
Friends, this is HUGE.
No matter where you are in your journey or what option you ultimately decide to go with for your embryos, SOMEONE will have already lived it, been there, and done that. These beautiful people are exceptionally qualified to offer you leadership, guidance, and resources in order to equip you as you continue on your journey.
7) You will be inspired.
Friends, there are amazing people in this great big world of ours – and the community of parents with current (or previous) leftover frozen embryos is no exception. Getting involved with others who share your pain, understand your circumstances, can relate to your position, and have overcome in this area of their lives can leave you feeling wonderfully inspired. To inspire someone is to fill someone with confidence and desire to do something, making them feel like they want to do it and can do it. It can also mean to give someone an idea 5.
Through meeting others just like you, and hearing their testimonies of courage, strength, and faith, you may be inspired in surprising and powerful ways as you consider your options and assess the possibilities in your own life.
8) You will experience less anxiety and fear.
Humans are made for connection and purposed for community with one another. We tend to forget that it’s easier for anxiety and fear to take hold of our hearts and minds when we’re alone and isolated.
When we share experiences, thoughts, emotions, and feelings with one another, we have the power to lift and calm the spirit. Often, we see our fears crumble and our anxieties collapse as we’re supported, encouraged, empowered, and equipped by the people around us. Being in community with other parents who have leftover frozen embryos puts you squarely in an environment that’s filled with hope, support, and the power to alleviate your anxieties and fears while filling you with peace.
9) You will begin to heal.
Living with leftover frozen embryos is bound to leave scars. Another reason why you need community when you have leftover frozen embryos is so you can begin to heal. Whether you’re at the beginning, middle, or end of your journey, your embryos will be a significant part of your life story for years to come. For many of us, the pain or outcome of our decision will linger far into the future. For all of us, we’ll never forget this time in our lives.
Healing begins as we become vulnerable, admitting our mistakes, expressing our concerns, discussing our hardships, and sharing our hurts. We begin to heal when others can validate and understand how we feel. We begin to heal when we realize and accept that we’ve done our very best with what we’ve been given. In the presence of community, healing, and even joy, can abound in the midst of our pain.
10) You can impact others.
Most importantly, as you move along in your own journey, you can give of yourself in all the ways we’ve discussed and make a profound difference in someone else’s life. You have a unique and powerful story that needs to be shared. You have no idea who, what, when, where, or why but at some point your testimony WILL impact someone that needs to hear it. It’s possible your words of encouragement, your supportive presence, or your grace-filled responses could positively change the trajectory of someone else’s journey.
Friends, I hope this article has filled you with hopeful anticipation. So many parents with leftover frozen embryos struggle with making a decision and live in painful limbo for years. This is why our mission at Beautiful Pieces of Us is to provide you with hope and help you come to a decision that brings peace to your hearts. Our greatest desire is come alongside you in your journey. The very best way to do that is to be in community with you.
We can become involved by joining our private/closed Facebook support group – and we hope with all our hearts you’ll decide to jump on board with this opportunity. In our community, you will be understood, able to speak freely, supported, encouraged, empowered, equipped, inspired, filled with peace, able to heal, and given the opportunity to pour into others and bless them abundantly.
Praying courage and peace over your hearts, my friends.
Are You Struggling With What To Do With Your Leftover Embryos? We would love to help.
Get our free 10-Step Guide to help you take the next steps on your journey with your leftover frozen embryos and begin to live with peace in your hearts. We’ve personally followed each step in this guide on our own journey – and over time we’ve received discernment, clear direction, and hope. We pray you find it helpful, encouraging, thought-provoking, and full of inspiration for your journey. Access the guide here.
P.S. If you need additional support or guidance as you consider your choices with your embryos, please join our private FB community, Leftover Frozen Embryos Support Group. Here, we talk in real time with other parents about the difficulties of living life with leftover frozen embryos and the options we have moving forward.
- “SUPPORT | Definition in the Cambridge English Dictionary.” SUPPORT | Definition in the Cambridge English Dictionary, Cambridge Dictionary, https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/support
- “ENCOURAGE | Definition in the Cambridge English Dictionary.” ENCOURAGE| Definition in the Cambridge English Dictionary, Cambridge Dictionary, https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/encourage
- “EMPOWER | Definition in the Cambridge English Dictionary.” EMPOWER | Definition in the Cambridge English Dictionary, Cambridge Dictionary, https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/empower
- “EQUIP | Definition in the Cambridge English Dictionary.” EQUIP | Definition in the Cambridge English Dictionary, Cambridge Dictionary, https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/equip
- “INSPIRE| Definition in the Cambridge English Dictionary.” INSPIRE | Definition in the Cambridge English Dictionary, Cambridge Dictionary, https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/inspire